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Sunday, 7 June 2009
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Radio 4 - The Archers - Message Board
From the archers message board.
Al's a Loser
by Vicky S
With so many versions of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah around, there's surely room for two more, from The Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board.
Now I've heard there is a message board
Where many post but few are bored
Where we don't really care for A. Lloyd do we?
It goes like this
At five past seven
A hush descends across the nation
United with one breath sing 'Al's a loser.'
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser.
Shul's faith was strong but she needed proof
She saw him bathing in the buff
The beauty of his bott quite overwhelmed her.
She tied him
To the kitchen chair
And said "Al, you are staying there,
Until I hear you say 'Yes I'm a loser.'"
"Oh Al, I've been here once before
I know the signs, I know the score
I knew deceit before I even met you.
I've traced your gambling loss online
Now you're a lifer doing time
In Archer chokey, yes poor Al's a loser,
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser.
[Ryan's Solo]
I done my best, no, it weren't much
Knew you was rich so tried to touch
You for a monkey, but I couldn't fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I taught you the twelve steps were long
And as a mentor - Al you are a loser.
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
And here's a version contributed almost exactly a year before, by Mr Snowy:
Professor Jim thought it was odd
The woman spoke so much of God
"You know He isn't there; oh really, Shula!
He will not ease your daily cares
Despite your hymns and earnest prayers"
But she just smiled and whispered "Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"Your faith is strong, I do not doubt
But when at last will you work out
It's all a fiendish plot meant to subdue you"
"I have to trust what Alan says
The Lord moves in mysterious ways
I count my blessings and say 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"If we were to debate the case
Each time I'm bound to trump your ace
Yes in a test of wits I would outdo you"
"It's true we don't see eye to eye
I cannot wait to wave goodbye
The earth will shake as I yell 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"Now don't you think it was a crime
He took your Mark before his time
How could a loving God cause such pain to you?"
"Mark did not have much time on earth
But think of Daniel's wondrous birth
It makes you want to shout out 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"And what of Dan? I see it plain
You set out to control his brain
I'll teach how to think for himself, Shula"
"There's not a hope now for your plan
I had the child, I'll have the man
Just like the Jesuits say; Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"You speak of love but mock the views
Of those who want to keep the pews
The miles between your words and deeds undo you"
"I know you aim my faith to dent
But still my first avowed intent's
To love my fellow man, oh hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"To dwell on love is somewhat queer
I've spoken to the folk round here
They mentioned Richard Locke, how well he knew you
I mean that in the Bible's sense
You surely can have no defence
Hello, hypocrisy, thy name is Shula"
How he knew you, how he knew you
How he knew you, how he knew you
She heard him speak with clarity
Out went her Christian charity
"I know there's vile misanthropy right through you
That's once too oft you've pushed your luck
It's time for you to sling your hook
You're going home today; cry "Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Al's a Loser
by Vicky S
With so many versions of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah around, there's surely room for two more, from The Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board.
Now I've heard there is a message board
Where many post but few are bored
Where we don't really care for A. Lloyd do we?
It goes like this
At five past seven
A hush descends across the nation
United with one breath sing 'Al's a loser.'
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser.
Shul's faith was strong but she needed proof
She saw him bathing in the buff
The beauty of his bott quite overwhelmed her.
She tied him
To the kitchen chair
And said "Al, you are staying there,
Until I hear you say 'Yes I'm a loser.'"
"Oh Al, I've been here once before
I know the signs, I know the score
I knew deceit before I even met you.
I've traced your gambling loss online
Now you're a lifer doing time
In Archer chokey, yes poor Al's a loser,
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser.
[Ryan's Solo]
I done my best, no, it weren't much
Knew you was rich so tried to touch
You for a monkey, but I couldn't fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I taught you the twelve steps were long
And as a mentor - Al you are a loser.
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
Al's a loser, Al's a loser
And here's a version contributed almost exactly a year before, by Mr Snowy:
Professor Jim thought it was odd
The woman spoke so much of God
"You know He isn't there; oh really, Shula!
He will not ease your daily cares
Despite your hymns and earnest prayers"
But she just smiled and whispered "Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"Your faith is strong, I do not doubt
But when at last will you work out
It's all a fiendish plot meant to subdue you"
"I have to trust what Alan says
The Lord moves in mysterious ways
I count my blessings and say 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"If we were to debate the case
Each time I'm bound to trump your ace
Yes in a test of wits I would outdo you"
"It's true we don't see eye to eye
I cannot wait to wave goodbye
The earth will shake as I yell 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"Now don't you think it was a crime
He took your Mark before his time
How could a loving God cause such pain to you?"
"Mark did not have much time on earth
But think of Daniel's wondrous birth
It makes you want to shout out 'Hallelujah'"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"And what of Dan? I see it plain
You set out to control his brain
I'll teach how to think for himself, Shula"
"There's not a hope now for your plan
I had the child, I'll have the man
Just like the Jesuits say; Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"You speak of love but mock the views
Of those who want to keep the pews
The miles between your words and deeds undo you"
"I know you aim my faith to dent
But still my first avowed intent's
To love my fellow man, oh hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"To dwell on love is somewhat queer
I've spoken to the folk round here
They mentioned Richard Locke, how well he knew you
I mean that in the Bible's sense
You surely can have no defence
Hello, hypocrisy, thy name is Shula"
How he knew you, how he knew you
How he knew you, how he knew you
She heard him speak with clarity
Out went her Christian charity
"I know there's vile misanthropy right through you
That's once too oft you've pushed your luck
It's time for you to sling your hook
You're going home today; cry "Hallelujah"
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Saturday, 15 November 2008
The rich cycle of life: Make mess, tidy mess, make mess, tidy mess...
I think I'll miss out the tidy mess stage, it will give me more time to make a mess!
Sunday, 2 November 2008
A very scary thought
what worries me is that if the American elections don't go the way I hope they do this woman could become Vice president of the USA and even more worrying she could easily be president given Mcains advanced years. it's very worrying that she fell for this prank call.
The American Presidential Election
is almost upon us i hope as many people turn out to vote as possible.
This video encourages people to vote
This video encourages people to vote
Friday, 3 October 2008
Thursday, 11 September 2008
Well we are still here!
Well they have fired up the HADRON thingy and we are still here! But they still have to fire up the colliding beams of matter and anti-matter thats the worrying bit!
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
The strange things your parents tell you!
When I was a kid my parents told me the sitting on a newspaper would stop me from feeling travel sick when traveling in the car. I'd forgotten about this until recently. I then started to wonder if they were winding us up but it seems my Dad isn't the only person to have had this idea apparently it's supposed to be something to do with static electricity.
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Big Bang Day!
On September the 10th they will turn on the CERN Hadron collider I don't really understand the science but apparently the idea is to recreate the immediate aftermath of the "Big Bang" what worries me slightly is that they might recreate the "Big Bang" all over again. Well at least you will be able to follow it all on Radio 4.
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
Government incompetence!
Well I don't know why I'm surprised but sometimes the level of incompetence of local government amazes me. In the post yesterday I got a form from the city council asking me to confirm my entry on the register of electors. Deciding to be organised I tried to use the website, it wasn't found, there was something odd about the spelling www.canvassmaters.com/sheffield so I tried missing out one of the s's this took me to this website. I rang the information line to let them know that it wasn't working. They thanked me but said they knew and that the telephone line for automated registering wasn't working either. The nice lady had no idea when it would be working. She suggested posting the form might be the most reliable option.
Saturday, 9 August 2008
I hear the strangest things on the radio!
I tend to fall asleep with the radio on Radio 4 is fine but the world service can be surreal some of the stuff I hear I think I have dreamt it such as the recent attack on a Greyhound bus in Canada. If you are at all squeamish don't bother following the link to read this! And some is just plain silly. The offering the other night was "The economic slowdown is accelerating"
Christian the Lion
sarah told me about this,she told me it had made her cry I found and watched it; she wasn't wrong
Friday, 25 July 2008
I'm sure I can smell tea
I went to Chestnut Wildlife Centre" today with Mum mainly because I love Otters and owls and they have both there, I had read about it in a Wildlife guide in the Guardian and I wanted to get some photos of them. I found the whole place rather depressing, the otters were kept in smallish pens in an attractive wooded valley with a pretty stream running through it. However the otters didn't have access to the stream and a lot of them didn't even have water to swim in. Even worse where the owls quarters these were wire mesh pens among the trees about 5ft square and around 12ft high. The owls didn't look at all happy. As you can see from the picture the otters seemed a bit happier some did have pools to swim in.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Smoking
Something strange has happened to me recently, I smoke, I don't really like the fact that I do, I don't like that I get something from it. I have tried to give up many times, Succeeded once for about a year when I had my son. But I always missed it. Because I was in agonising pain from a trapped nerve in my shoulder my GP prescribed gapapentin this is a recognised and authorised treatment for nerve pain. It seemed to work, my pain is much better. What is interesting is that it seems to have reduced my craving for my next hit of nicotine, but what is even more interesting and strangely annoying is that it has also removed my enjoyment of my occasional smoke. I don't smoke heavily but have always enjoyed it's stress relieving qualities and the comfort of the habit that a non-smoker would be hard pressed to understand. Although I should welcome this opportunity to quit I find my self annoyed and faintly irritated by this.
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