The very model of a modern parish minister

Radio 4 - The Archers - Message Board
Originally uploaded by robinhamman

I've just found this on The Archers website-


The very model of a modern parish minister
by Mr Snowy

Gilbert and SullivanMr Snowy, a regular contributor to the Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board. is a master of intricate wordplay, as this Gilbert and Sullivan parody proves.

I am the very model of a modern parish minister
You'll find me non-judgmental, I would never damn the sinister
I don't go in for hell fire, no; on right and wrong I'm flexible
As long as I'm bang up to date; on that I am inex'rable

I've taken up each trendy cause, I've filled the manse with down-and-outs
I'm very good at counselling (I say "It's swings and roundabouts")
It won't be long till I've removed all pews from the vicinity
But please don't press me hard about the meaning of the Trinity

Oh please don't press him hard about the meaning of the Trinity
Oh please don't press him hard about the meaning of the Trinity
Oh please don't press him hard about the meaning of the Trini - trinity

I've modernised our services, we're singing Graham Kendrick songs
I will not rest until we're all performing Jimi Hendrix songs
I must replace the organist now he's octogenarian
I rather fancy someone who has leanings Rastafarian

I get about by motor-bike, my attitude is uber-cool
I love to turn each female head, you really should see Shula drool
And though the village dinosaurs might find my actions sinister
I am the very model of a modern parish minister

And though the village dinosaurs might find his actions sinister
He is the very model of a modern parish minister

I'm practised in accountancy, my parish funds are watertight
I won't offend the upper-class (however much my daughter might)
Though I detest their politics they're rather good at giving dough
I'll even schmooze the frightful Peg, what I'll do for a living-o

I've got a view on everything from strawberries to pesticides
From how we should dispose of poo to skylark nests and set-aside
I'll speak on how to save the whale, the best ways of preserving Earth
As long as I am never asked about such things as Virgin Birth

As long as he is never asked about such things as Virgin Birth
As long as he is never asked about such things as Virgin Birth
As long as he is never asked about such things as Virgin Virgin Birth

Of sins I am forgiving, I will not condemn philandering
In various translations from Hungarian to Mandarin
And though the village dinosaurs might find my actions sinister
I am the very model of a modern parish minister

And though the village dinosaurs might find his actions sinister
He is the very model of a modern parish minister

I am the very model of a modern parish minister
I welcome all inside my church, the righteous souls, the sinister
I'm truly ecumenical, inclusive of the heathens here
There's one who says she'll marry me; we've gone and booked St Stephens, dear

The Echo now has stirred things up, it's picking up some vocal taints
It's rooted out the choicest quotes from shopkeepers and local saints
But now it's run this story and I have to say it's utter tripe
God help Ross Adams when I get my hands upon that guttersnipe
Perhaps I'll knock his block off; they might find it out in Finisterre
Will Ross regret his mocking of a modern parish minister?

Perhaps he'll knock his block off; they might find it out in Finisterre
Will Ross regret his mocking of a modern parish minister?

Burma Cylcone

Yangon - Nargis Cyclone (329)
Originally uploaded by luisrene

The recent cyclone in Burma has wreaked havoc in a way that we cannot imagine. The BBC report that around 22,000 people have lost their lives! Words fail me to express my horror at this level of devastation and loss of life. I can't help but wonder if global warning and climate change due to the damage we do to our wonderful planet is too blame. Why can't we realise that we live on this earth; the only one we have, we should look after it! If we considered the planet as a spaceship that we inhabit maybe we would be more careful?